2020 is turning out to be yet another "take-the-bad-with-the-good" year.
I've grown into my work, and my boss has finally admitted his faith and confidence in me, as well as his gratefulness to God for having sent me his way. Unfortunately, COVID has ravaged the business. We're surviving, but it's stressful and everything is uncertain. I'm proud to say, though, that I've been a pretty essential part of keeping the things up and running, according to everyone except my boss. I've been told he doesn't like to dish out compliments because he doesn't want anyone getting a big head.
I'm seven months into no-contact with my mother. Her number is blocked in my phone, but she's texted me three times, and called me once. The first two texts were just her wanting me to get my stuff out of her house. The third text and one call I didn't pick up were about my dad. I had to find out from my great aunt that my dad has cancer. He's had surgery to remove the tumor, and he's doing radiation therapy. He was supposed to visit this summer. I wanted to have a meaningful conversation with him, and ask him some hard questions. Thanks to COVID and cancer, I can't do that, and I feel now more than ever that my time to do so is running out.
My husband and I are this close to buying our first house. The work commute is a pain in the butt, but we will be far enough away from my mother's family that we can breathe a sigh of relief. We decided that once we move, we would start trying for a baby. It was a swell plan until we realized that we're Rh-incompatible. My blood type is A- and his is supposedly A+. I've seen the consequences of Rh-incompatible births gone wrong. My sister-in-law needed eight pints of blood transfused after birth, and she was born deaf. It's a terrifying prospect to say the least.
My half-brother, the only sibling I like, has become a self-recruited flying monkey for our mother. The last time I went to see him where he works, he told me repeatedly that I "needed" to call her. Sometimes, it's hard for me to tell when he's being sarcastic, so when he told me he was going to take a picture of me and send it to our mother, I very firmly refused and walked out of his office. He followed me out, swearing up and down that he didn't actually know how to take pictures with his phone, but how could anyone possibly believe that? I think that's going to have to be the last time I see him.
It still baffles me to think that no one in my family has reached out to me since I left. Clearly, I don't "need" to speak with my mother, let alone any of her family. They seem perfectly happy live their lives without me. And that's wonderful, because it means they'll leave me alone. It means I'll be able to continue living a peaceful, productive life with my husband and the children we will hopefully have.
I have a healthy support system, now. I don't need my mother or her family, much less want them.
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